Musings On a Rainy Day: The Wanderings of a Fevered and Bitterly Disappointed Mind!

south and east views from Briarwood on a rainy winter day

Oscar and I were to have hunted pigeon and rabbit today, but the weather is miserable, and winter is upon us with a vengeance.  And so after some early morning chores at the barn and in town, I sat down with a cup of tea and my Kindle to read a few passages from long neglected books and magazines.  Days like this have always put me in a rather pensive mood, and used to call forth listening to Beethoven, reading Byron, and caressing a bit of cognac or brandy.  But now it is silence, Earl Grey tea, and things I meant to read a long time ago. 

Rebecca and I have long discussed where we might attend worship after my retirement.  Arguably, the evangelical churches have the best preachers, but we would miss the liturgy and sacrament.  While several members of our family are Roman, I could never get by the dogmas promulgated in the 19th century or the presuppositions of magisterium as a concept, ...and as a non-member, I would not be able to receive Communion.  And besides, my experience of most Roman Catholic preaching is that it tends to not be expository, and is therefore generally suspect in my eyes (although I can cite some notable exceptions!).  The same sort of things hold true for Orthodoxy.  While I find Orthodoxy's theology more derivative from Scripture than that of Rome, I always feel like a welcome and honoured guest rather than like a member of the family.  And their positions on Sacraments are like those of Rome.  Some would ask why I don't just find another Episcopal or Anglican Church and go there.  The blend of liberal politics, acceptance of sexual immorality (both homosexual and heterosexual), and the effective universalism in many Episcopal Churches distracts me from focusing on God, and to attend an Anglican parish with regularity given the current state of affairs between The Episcopal Church and the Anglican Church in North America would in my opinion send unhelpful signals to people who look to me for spiritual example and leadership, and would seem to be a rather backhanded slap at my bishop, to whom I am bound to give fealty, and who is after all a decent man who has enough headaches without me creating more for him. 

And all of this brings me to the "Diary of John Evelyn," who lived during the Protectorate of Oliver Cromwell, and found his religion no longer fit the mood of the nation.  On 3rd December (1654) he wrote, "Advent Sunday.  There being no Office at the church but extemporary prayers after the Presbyterian way, for now all forms were prohibited, and most of the preachers were usurpers, I seldom went to church upon solemn feasts; but, either went to London, where some of the orthodox sequestered Divines did privately use the Common Prayer, administered sacraments, &c., or else I procured one to officiate in my house; wherefore on the 10th, Dr. Richard Owen, the sequestered minister of Eltham, preached to my family in my library, and gave us the holy Communion." 

And so I wonder, on this blustery and chilling day, if we are indeed in a new interregnum as one age passes to the next.  I have no answers, and hopefully will not need one for a few years to come, but days such as this do call me to deep thoughts of very serious things.

My second reverie grew out of Anthony Esolen's article "Illuminations" in the October 26th issue of "Touchstone."  He writes, "C.S. Lewis suggests that the flames of hell are how the wicked experience the glory of Paradise, for God is the Selfsame, and should we descend into the pit, yet is he there.  The fault lies not in the glory, but in the wicked."  He continues after some illustration, "So in the dark night of Advent we await the coming of the true light that enlightens every man; yet we should remember that light is like cool, refreshing waters for those who love the light, and like the glare of an enemy to those who hate it."  Could this be why so many in our world today seem to intent on opposing the work of Jesus Christ in the world?  Certainly it is worth considering, and if it is true, perhaps it is an indication that even in the midst of the darkness, we ought to remember that God is doing a great thing.  Gods who are not a threat to the enemies of truth seldom provoke violent reactions, because their private worship which has no public consequences are not an inconvenience to anyone.

And finally, my thoughts on this day grow out of a report by Dave Nomsan in the Winter 2014 issue of "Pheasants Forever: A Journal of Upland Conservation."  Even a partisan (an evenhanded one at least) must come close to acknowledging that the antics of the United States government in all of her forms and in all of her parties and interest groups, has been a disgrace over the last few weeks and months.  Nomsan, who is Vice President for Governmental affairs for Pheasants Forever, was working on the conservation aspects of the pending Farm Bill when he realized that the government shutdown would have serious ramifications "limiting hunting access on public lands", and especially to those purchased for conservation by private funds from hunters and conservationists through the sale of Duck Stamps, the 26,000 Waterfowl Protection Areas, or WPAs.  He continues, "As preposterous as it sounded, the federal government had closed public WPAs despite there not being any gates, locks, or staff necessary to keep them open- and all of this during the peak of duck hunting season and on the eve of many state pheasant openers."   Needless to say, the federal government's apparent disregard for the health of upland and wetland habitat, of which scientifically planned harvest seasons are an important part, disgusts this writer.  It also causes me to imagine if the time has not come for a careful consideration of the kind of folks we elect to govern our nation.  Please take this as a denunciation of candidates from both major parties, and not as an attack on one branch or one party.  This is too wonderful a place to allow anyone to throw it away or to destroy it for any reason.  I suppose that is the rant portion of my musing today. 

Can we go hunting yet Dad?

Hopefully this will give you a bit of an insight into the workings of an idle mind.  It can be a very scary place.  I think I'll leave it and see if it is too wet to hunt this afternoon.

And oh by the way, the views expressed here are strictly personal and should not be held against any institution or anyone but me!